Ballad of the Never-Ending Date

by Kathleen Kraft

Mike was in the make-up biz
slung his shadows daily
He stayed up late and drank too much
Schnapps, dark rum and Bailey’s

He took me out for Italian
and looked into my eyes
then slurped his oiled salad
while I crunched my Oh My’s

What else you like to eat? I tried
Oh anything he said
Vietnamese or Thai I posed
He shrugged and bent his head

Tuesday was the second date
Thai on River and 3rd
He pushed the meat around his plate
A badly wounded bird

He choked on the cilantro
and then on his Coke
He slid off to the bathroom
then almost told a joke:

You’re like a girl from Woodstock…
I waited. Is that so?
Yup,
he winked and sputtered
as I chewed this guy slow

He drove me to my doorstep
then quickly locked the doors—
Joking! he laughed too loudly
as I breathed through my pores

But a sweetness was about him,
That I must now admit
in spite of the greasy fingers
the polyester knit…

and the eerie eye that rolled…
and the quivering lip
Something in his tone of voice
beckoned softly as a slip

It wooed me ‘til the twilight hour
and whispered as I slept,
caressed me gently as I woke
then led me to his step…

So, ladies, I am asking
Have you ever met a man
who repulsed you through and evenly,
then given him your hand?

~~~~~~

Author Bio
Kathleen Kraft received her MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College. More >

Comments

  1. I love this! Thank you for sharing your date with us!

  2. Kathy Goldhirsch says:

    Lovely, fun, and eloquent!

  3. Merrie Davis says:

    Brought back memories….and then laughter…very good….thanks…

  4. truly remarkable in that I cringe w/ recognition, laugh out loud (no lol-ing, just laughing) and then feel resolved that everthing is as it should be. That’s your gift, Kathleen: visceral poetry that engages heart & mind.

  5. Michael Udesky says:

    I love this poem. Been thinking about it a lot lately. It’s dead on for the dating world and hilarious but also moving. Loved that one line, ‘as i breathed through my pores.” Would love to read more of yours.

  6. Kathleen Kraft says:

    Hi Michael (and everyone!),
    Thanks for your kind words. It was inspirational to read them! Here are a couple of more links to poems that relate to to the dating topic, especially the second one:
    Empty Table
    http://www.anderbo.com/anderbo1/apoetry-076.html

    and

    Arietta
    http://www.anderbo.com/anderbo1/apoetry-089.html

    Enjoy and thank you for reading my poems.
    Kathleen

  7. caitlin shaunnessey says:

    I dated that guy for two and a half years! Thank you for highlighting the humor in it, Kathleen. Well done!

  8. Daniele Lasser says:

    Lovely talent, Kathleen. I envy you and congratulate you.

  9. Samantha Hubbard says:

    I concur. I cringe. I said, “heavens, yes” when I finished reading this poem. I love the way you address the readers at the end and pose a question.

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